Why I Don’t Make Resolutions and What I Do Instead

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I don’t make resolutions. In fact, it’s been years since I made one. 

Every year, as the new year approaches, we all set resolutions. We decide that the coming year will be our best one yet and proudly declare the things we’ll achieve. Lose weight, earn more money, get organized, travel more, quit smoking, get fit, read more. Odds are, you’ve set a resolution that sounds something like this.

Statistically speaking, there’s also an 80% likelihood that you gave up on that resolution by Valentine’s Day! That’s the problem with New Year’s resolutions. We go into them with high hopes – and high expectations. Unfortunately, it doesn’t take too long for failure – and disappointment to set in. 

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from years of failed resolutions (and the past year in general), it’s that next year won’t be your best year yet just because you say so. That’s the problem with resolutions. They function under a guise that this year will be your best because it’s a new year.

So today, on the brink of 2021, this is my advice to you. Don’t make resolutions for 2021! Don’t set yourself up for failure. Set goals instead. 

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The Problem with New Years Resolutions

You don’t need to feel bad about thinking through all the things you hope to accomplish in 2021. In fact, I highly recommend that you DO. Before you set a resolution though, consider the problems with them.

There's Nothing Magical About January 1st

Humans are creatures of habit, and our brains are hard wired to seek out patterns in our everyday lives. The new year tends to make us all feel like there’s this tangible transition that wipes the slate clean and allows us all to start fresh. 

Here’s the problem though. Remember that 80% statistical likelihood that you’ll fail within 6 weeks? The problem with assigning special powers to the first of the year is that you’ll probably forget about or give up on that resolution in the next few weeks. 

If you think that you can only start fresh at predetermined points in time, you’ll spend the next 46 weeks of 2021 feeling like a failure and waiting to start over again.

What a waste of time!

Your Motivation Will Falter

New Year’s Resolutions are usually based on things we think we should be doing, but aren’t. Rarely do we consider the kind of lifestyle changes we’ll need to make in order to reach our resolutions.

The usual resolutions, like lose weight or quit smoking, don’t account for what we’ll do when we’re no longer motivated to keep up the lifestyle changes needed to achieve our lofty resolutions. 

Without adequate support, planning, and tracking of our success along the way, we don’t have the necessary tools to overcome waning motivation and resolution burnout. 

They're Too Big

New Year’s Resolutions tend to be short, vague statements without much guidance or process. Basically, New Year’s resolutions are wishes we make when the clock strikes midnight. They’re these giant, unmanageable ideas that we haven’t figured out how to accomplish yet. 

Lose weight does tell what you hope to do. But it doesn’t account for the steps you’ll take to get there, what you’ll do if you fail, how long it will take, or how you’ll know you’ve succeeded. 

It’s just this big, huge wish that you’re hoping will magically happen before next New Year’s Eve. 

So what do yo do? How can you take advantage of your brain’s natural desire to assign special meaning to tonight?

girl holding sparkler

Set SMART Goals Instead

You absolutely should consider what you want from 2021! Riding on the coattails of the year of hell, maybe don’t assume it’ll be your best year yet… But for sure think about the things you want to get out of the next 365 days.

Then set a SMART goal! It’s basically a resolution with details.

See, that’s why resolutions fail. Ultimately, they lack substance. You can beef up your resolutions by considering a few simple steps. 

When you’re SMART about what you want to achieve, those resolutions suddenly become attainable goals that you can actually control.

What's a SMART Goal?

So glad you asked. These goals will help you plan out and account for the thing you hope to achieve this year. 

SMART is actually an acronym where each letter stands for a different element of the process. This type of goal should be:

  • Specific
  • Measurable
  • Attainable
  • Relevant
  • Time Bound

Writing a SMART goal is going to feel a little bit like homework… I suppose it’s just in my nature to assign task based practice to help you improve your understanding of a new concept. No clue why.

I actually have to write one of these every single year for my job (elementary school teacher, in case you didn’t catch the implication above!). To be honest, I hated it at first. It was difficult, and I had no clue what I was doing. Over time, I got better at it, and now I consider the SMART elements of basically anything I hope to accomplish.

If you give it an honest try, I think you’ll find that SMART goals leave you feeling like you have more control and you’ll be less aimless and lost. 

So, let’s write a SMART goal. And because I always learn best when I can see an example, I’ll walk you through the process with an example!

Let’s start with a resolution. Get out of debt. I’ve been actively working on this one for a while. Let’s see what happens when look through the lense of a SMART goal.

S - Specific

Right now, my resolution is not specific. You don’t know anything about my goal other than that I want to get out of debt. Guess what, without getting more specific, neither do I! 

To create specific SMART goal, you actually have to consider everything that comes after this step! However, there are some things I can think about from the very start with this resolution.

You can see from our monthly budget reports that we have a bunch of debt to pay. We’ve got mortgages on two properties, student loans for two degrees, medical debt from Baby Girl’s birth and Mr. P&P’s hospital stay with cellulitis back in October 2019, a car loan, and one (final!) credit card. 

For most goals, you’ll also benefit from collecting numerical data. To lose weight, I need to know my current weight, my goal weight, and maybe even my average caloric intake/burn. To quit smoking, I need to know how much I currently smoke and when. If I want to read more, I need to know my current habits and whether “read more” means more books, more words, more hours, or something else.

In the case of paying off debt, it’s really helpful to know how much debt you actually have. In the spirit of transparency and learning, here’s what my family owes.

  • Mortgage 1 – $287,988.38
  • Mortgage 2 – $115,263.81
  • Student Loan 1 – $35,913.82
  • Student loan 2 – $23,328.44
  • Natal Debt – $11,885.63
  • Cellulitis Debt – $5,000.27
  • Car Loan – $11,068.44
  • Credit Card – $7,349.99
  • Total Debt – $497,798.78

I need to get specific. Am I going to pay all of this off? Some of it? A percentage of the total? Obviously, I can’t pay off a half million dollars in debt in one year, but “get out of debt” implies this, setting me up for immediate failure! 

Let’s modify my goal a bit by thinking about my priorities and lifestyle.

Two mortgages will take us a long time. There’s no way I’m paying those off in a year. I’m biding my time for a few months to see what happens with student loans. The car loan payment is small and easy to make. 

My biggest immediate concerns are the credit card and medical debt. The medical debt negatively impacts our credit, and the credit card can come with high interest and large payments. It’s also the hardest to address if our financial or economic situation changes for the worst. We can always sell a house and car, and put the student loans into forbearance. Credit card payments don’t take breaks, though.

Now, I’ve got a more specific goal of paying off $24,235.89 in credit card and medical debt in one year.

M - Measurable

Once you’ve set a specific goal, it’s time to consider how you will track your progress to measure you success. 

Why bother measuring progress? Because in about 6 weeks when your motivation falters, you’ll need something to look back on to see how far you’ve come. 

Measuring your progress keeps your goals in the forefront of your mind and gives that pattern based brain evidence of whether or not your plan is working. If you see growth, you’ll likely find it easier to stay motivated. No progress? Then you either need to take an honest look at whether you’re following your steps or modify your goal.

Measure progress however you prefer! Make a data table, find a color-in progress tracker, or keep a list of data points in a notebook. Just choose something that you’ll keep up with and that makes sense to you. 

If you can’t measure your goal, it’s probably not specific enough. Learn to love veggies can’t be measured. Eat a vegetable with each meal or try one new veggie a month can.

We keep pretty meticulous records of our income, spending, and debt repayment using spreadsheets. 

I can actually look back on our debt repayment story through August 2019 to look for progress and patterns. My student loan payments and progress have been tracked back for about 5 years now, and my income and spending trackers go all the way back to 2012.

To measure this goal, I’ll continue to use my family’s debt repayment spreadsheets to track payments and monthly running totals. In addition to this, I plan to continue publishing monthly budget reports on the blog. It helps me be honest with myself, stay accountable, and see the proof of our progress, or lack thereof. 

A - Attainable

Now that I’ve got a goal and a way to measure my progress, I need to consider whether or not the goal I’ve set can actually be achieved. Can I actually do the thing I’ve chosen?

You probably won’t drop 50 lbs in a month, quit smoking cold turkey, become a vegan if omnivorous family cooks all your meals, or read 100 books if you’re working 3 jobs. 

If you have a large, numerical goal, one great way to test attainability is to divide your big goal by the number of months until you hope to achieve it. In this case, 12. 

If my goal is to lose 80 lbs this year, 80÷12= about 6.7. To reach this goal, I have to lose just under 7 lbs per month or about 1.5 lbs per week. That’s lofty (for me, anyway), but not unattainable. 

If I want to pay off $24,236 worth of debt in one year, that means I have to pay about $2019.58 per month to hit my goal. I already know my income, spending, and monthly average extra income after expenses. This goal is unattainable for my family. 

We could increase our income or drastically cut our spending and maybe hit this, but it’s not very likely. I need to modify this goal. Let’s look at what happens if I only focus on the credit card debt and the smaller medical bill, totaling $12,350.26.

For this modified goal, I need to pay about $1,029.19 per month to reach it. That’s still a bit of a stretch, but it’s certainly attainable. By choosing a goal that’s possible but difficult, I’m taking a gamble that I’ll stay motivated. 

However, the closer I get, the more I think I’ll want to push. My initial goal wasn’t attainable. So my modified specific goal is to pay off my credit card and the cellulitis medical bill totaling $$12,350.26 in one year.

R - Relevant

This is the “why” of your SMART goal. Why are you doing this? How does achieving this goal get you closer to the life you want to live? 

By considering how your life will be different or why you actually want to do this, you’ll have something to come back to when you’re over building a new habit. 

If you’re into journaling exercises, vision boards, or visualization practices, this is the perfect time to pull those out! If not, just take a moment to write up a quick statement about what reaching this goal will help you to do in the long run.

In the case of my goal, paying off these two debts will allow us to increase the size of our snowball payments on those other debts. This will help us pay off our debt faster, start building up our retirement funds sooner, and achieve our ultimate dream of financial freedom and self sufficiency.

If I were to journal, visualize, or create a vision board, I’d include lots of details about having plenty of money, getting a raise, starting a side income, crossing off debts, and building what my dream future looks, sounds, and feels like. 

T - Time Bound

Finally, when establishing your SMART goal, it needs to be time bound. When will you achieve this goal by? 

Setting a timeline will help you to determine when and if you’ve reached your goal. 

In this case, since we’re setting New Year’s SMART goals, we’ll go for one year, but feel free to adjust the timeline on your goal as you see fit. There’s no rule that says you have to check this off by next ball drop. That’s just your brain looking for concrete patterns!

Write Out Your SMART Goal

Now, here’s the fun part! It’s time to write out your final goal and make sure it’s SMART.

I’m a big fan of templates, so here’s a template you can use to help get started. 

My SMART goal is to (state your specific goal using action words) by (insert your time frame). I will know I’ve succeeded when (how you’ll measure your success). When I feel like giving up, I will (check or update your chosen measurement tool) and (check in with your relevancy – journal, visualize, create a vision board, read relevancy statement, etc).

And here’s my SMART goal using the template above.

My SMART goal is to pay off my credit card and the cellulitis medical bill totaling $12,350.26 by January 1st, 2022. I’ll know I’ve succeeded when my last credit card payment posts and the smaller medical bill is fully settled. When I feel like giving up, I will look at the progress I’ve made in the last few years on my debt payoff spreadsheet and update my vision board or perform a journaling exercise

Create Your Action Plan

Did you think we were done? Sorry, there’s one more thing you need to do, and it’s really important. You need to brainstorm some action steps you’ll take to help you actually reach that attainable goal you set. Remember, goals don’t just happen. Those are wishes. 

Don’t be afraid to make mistakes and adjustments here. Your action plan doesn’t have to be perfect. It just needs to get you started and keep you moving. What are the things you’ll do along the way, and when will you do them by? 

For this goal, my action steps might include:

  • tracking last month’s spending to find my baseline
  • establishing a budget (learn how here!)
  • downloading a debt repayment calculator to fine tune my plan (learn how here!)
  • tracking monthly expenses on Mint, YNAB, or a self made spreadsheet
  • monthly family budget meetings
  • completing a low-spend month (learn how here!)
  • setting up autopay on my credit card
  • calling my debt collector to establish a payment plan or settlement offer
  • cutting $100 from last months spending and paying it toward my card
  • spending $0 on my credit card each month
  • shading a box on a color-in tracker for each $100 I pay off
  • picking up a side gig
  • eliminating sunk costs from my expenses (learn how here!)
 

Writing out my action plan (with completion dates!) helps keep me focused and clearly shows where I’m going next. If you’re into bullet journaling or keeping a planner, add your action steps and some sort of checklist or tracker to help you stay motivated. 

Don't Make Resolutions! Set SMART Goals Instead

At first glance, this might seem like a lot, and you’d be right. Accomplishing goals doesn’t happen by accident. You need to consider what you want and how you’ll get there. 

Don’t make resolutions alone. Make them stick with SMART goals.

Writing a SMART goal feels hard at first. Don’t worry, it gets easier! You learn more and find ways to fine tune as you practice. Luckily, even a rough SMART goal is more impactful than a New Year’s wish!

If you really like participating in the resolution tradition, go ahead and announce your New Year’s Resolution tonight. Just make sure you come back later and make it a SMART one. 

What’s your resolution this year? How will you make it a SMART goal? We’d love to hear!  Drop a line in the comments and let us know your goal or how it’s going. 

While you’re at it, don’t forget to share this post on your favorite social media, follow us, and subscribe to our newsletter, so you can stay up to date on everything that’s happening.

 

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